God brings certain people into my life to teach me lessons about myself.
God brought a woman into my life who would not listen to me. What I learned was I often don’t listen to people.
This woman started our conversation with something I didn’t want to talk about and told her so. She talked about it anyway. I got angrier and angrier. We ended the phone call.
My husband and I are planning to relocate. We are discussing how to proceed. Sometimes when we talk, I find myself feeling angry; I don’t want to listen to his opinions and walk away or ignore him.
I began to notice all the times I do this to people. Refuse to listen. It starts as a slow burn and becomes a physical resistance in my body – increased heart rate, rigid muscles, clenched teeth.
I talked this realization over with a friend.
“You feel self-righteousness,” she said. “I get it. I do that, too. I don’t want to listen to someone who has strong opinions opposite from mine. It’s tricky.”
I realized I owed the woman with strong opinions an apology. I thought she had not listened to me. But I had not listened to her. I failed her as a friend. I called and apologized. I said I had done a poor job of listening and could do better. She said, okay, but she’d rather not be friends anyway. We weren’t close, but still, I was disappointed and sad, but it showed me the effects of my behavior.
I don’t want to live my life turning away from people whose opinions I don’t like.
God says I can be grounded in love and wholeness as I listen. I don’t need to spout my opinion in return. I don’t have to engage in an argument. I can listen. I can accept the information and let it rest.
I apologize now to my husband. I say, “I will listen and try not to walk away.”
He says, “Thank you. I will try to do the same.”
Maybe King Solomon was considered wise because he listened. But he prayed to God for the gift of wisdom, for the gift of listening.
“Therefore, give to Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, that I may discern between good and evil.”
I receive everything from You, Higher Power. What someone else thinks or says does not take away what You give me. God, grant me an understanding, listening heart.
And dare I say it, keep the lessons coming.