Let us be gentle with one another.
There are so many of us there is no way we can please everyone. Even when I have the best intentions, someone will take issue with it. I will insult someone through my blindness to their needs or because my needs run counter to theirs.
That person has every right to say then how she feels about my action. I can make amends if I wish and feel that is appropriate. Or I may feel grounded in myself and not judge myself as out-of-line. I can say I hear you, thank you, and leave it at that. But I don’t have to bend backward in apology or abject criticism of myself saying bad, Polly, bad just because someone is unhappy with my decision or self-expression.
Criticism by others of me hurts, but unmerited self-criticism hurts worst.
Sure, there are times when I benefit from taking stock of my bad habits that are harmful to me and others. Maybe I gossip. Maybe I poke my nose in other people’s business when I should focus on myself.
But aside from honest self-examination, habitually thinking I am rotten or have something wrong with me because of what I want or who I am harms me profoundly.
So, how do we stop doing that? How do we control the old messages that say, “I’m not good enough,” or “There’s something wrong with me,” or “I am a mistake”?
You are not a mistake. I am not a mistake. We are glorious beings created by God, Goddess, Divine Light, Self, Brahman, learning how to be.
And because we are human, learning how to be is difficult. It’s painful. Why do it alone?
Let us explore the wonders of being human together. All the joy, pain, and shame we feel, we feel together. We are not alone. We feel the same things. Come out of isolation.
I’ll be here. Join me.
Errors by my hand or foot,
by my speech, or body,
by my ears, eyes, or thought;
whether by what I’ve done or failed to do,
dear Lord, forgive all these.
O ocean of mercy, God of gods,
bestower of blissful peace,
victory unto you!
— Soul of My Soul, by Shankara, 8th century Hindu monk