God’s Timing

God’s timing. Accepting life on life’s terms. Being grateful for now, this moment with all its precious wisdom. Let go, relax and go with the flow. It’s easy when I’m not in pain. When I feel loved and loving. But when I am in pain, when I feel self-doubt, or clueless, letting go is challenging. I want to force an answer, figure things out on my own. I must accept God’s timing even when, or perhaps most especially, when I am clueless.

I am not quite clueless now because I trust in God, because I have faith. But are faith and expectation the same thing? I must not confuse the two. I want certain things to happen. I expect them to. That’s dangerous, because then I judge my life’s purpose on the outcome, when my life’s purpose is this moment, making it meaningful simply by living it just the way it is. Nothing more.

I must have faith and patience for the changes that take time. I might die not achieving what it is I have wanted to achieve. I might. I don’t know.

I the meantime, I devour this life and all God gives me to enjoy, to ponder, to accept.

You Could Be the Water

By the scent of water alone,
the withered vine comes back to life,
and thus...wherever the land is dry and hard,
you could be the water...

from "Untie the Strong Woman" p. 250 by ClarissaPinkola Estés