Bismillah Your Old Self

Every moment is an opportunity to be aware of the divine.

As I was rinsing egg yolk from my breakfast plate, I was aware of the divinity of the moment. I am saturated by divine power, swimming in it, breathing it, aware of it. Does that mean I am divine power or have it? That I can leap tall buildings in a single bound? No, I am human and believe in the limitations of the human body. Perhaps that’s why I can’t leap tall buildings in a single bound, because of my belief. But without the divine spirit animating and emanating from my body, I am nothing but dirt and water. Thick mud, as Rumi would say.

“Give up to grace. Be wide as air to learn a secret.”

Today I accept myself as I am. I let go of trying to fulfill some destiny of who I think I must be or become. I am wide as air.

“Abraham learned how the sun and moon and the stars all set.

He said, No longer will I try to assign partners for God.”

I take that to mean that I must not have expectations in life for specific outcomes. I can hope for certain outcomes, but in the end, I must let go.

Bismillah your old self…”

Bismillah means “In the name of God,” which Sufi priests uttered during animal sacrifices.

Find your real name, your true self, by sacrificing all your expectations to the divine at this moment.

Let go of expectations; be wide as the air.

My husband is leaving again and will be gone for two weeks to work in Illinois. Two weeks here in the mountains, two weeks there. I catch myself worrying that he will die before he returns to me, that the plane will crash, or something will happen to him while he is gone. I go through this with all my loved ones when they travel.

I grieve a hundred times over.

Then I observe what my mind is doing, and I let go of these worries, these mindless expectations and accept life on life’s terms. I accept this moment, this precious now. And at this precious now, all is well. I breathe in divinity. It is available here with us now always. Why is that so hard to remember?

All is well. I am well. Who I am is perfect. I am perfectly myself, and so are you. Accept who you are, always. Why be at war with yourself? What if you are uncomfortable with yourself? If you don’t like yourself? Don’t worry. Accept. Divinity will change you, mold you, just as it does the mud, making exquisite patterns.

“Give up to grace.
The ocean takes care of each wave
Till it gets to shore.
You need more help than you know.

Bismillah your old self
To find your real name.”

--Rumi