Author: Polly Hansen

We are infinitely loved. How can we tap into that Love if we don’t believe in it? If we don’t have faith?

I felt like that once, completely abandoned by God, waiting for Her to change my life. That’s what I thought God’s presence would do—change my situation so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. But that’s not how God operates. God wants us to deal with it, to deal with Life—our lives. She provides the tools to do so. Prayer. Meditation. Therapy. Community. Journaling. Friendship. Literature. Teachers. Our brains, our minds, and our hearts. God loves us. She pours Her infinite Love over and into us. Her Love is there always.

But what if we are blind to Her Love or can’t feel it? How do we begin to open our hearts to this Love?

By listening.

Listening to our own pain and shadows instead of shutting them down and ignoring them.

Everything we live through is important. Everything we live through is a lesson, an opportunity, honing and shaping us into the highest beings we can be if only we trust and have faith in the process.

Does it hurt? You bet. Is it scary? Absolutely. But She is there, guiding us always.

Listen to your heart. Give voice to your fears. I will listen. I will pray for you and with you. This is what we were meant to do—to be here for one another. Healing and transformation occur when we let go, even just a little bit. When we share with others, the light of truth shines forth healing rays; accepting what is frees us. We let go of our attachment to pain each time we share it with another. The grip loosens, space for release has a chance to rest in our hearts. Transformation begins. It is a slow process, but it works.

I genuinely believe in the power of God’s transformative Love available to us all. We can channel that Love, be an open vessel for it so that it pours out and flows from one to another.

I am here.

I will wait for you.

"You have put yourself under the guidance and control
     of an all-powerful being.
Let Her do what She pleases with you.
    God is always in you and you are always in Her.
She and you are One. This is the truth."

-- from "Unshakable Faith" Swami Ramdas

After experiencing pain and suffering for many years, I now have joy and bliss. That is not to say I never feel sorrow or sadness anymore, or even anxiety and worry. I do. I feel it all, and that is the difference between now and my life in the past. (Just now, as I was writing, a bird flew right towards my open window and veered off at the last second. I got to see its underbelly and chest and wide-stretched fluttering wings up close. Bliss and joy!)

I let all emotions pass through me. I don’t resist whatever comes up, and therefore it doesn’t become stuck inside me. I say yes to frustration. I accept it for what it is and move on.

How does one move on from frustration? Accepting a situation for what it is and that I may be powerless to change anything about it, except maybe my attitude.

My husband and I are moving to North Carolina. That is our intent, anyway. We have put our house and home of 35 years on the market. Such a beautiful home! Why hasn’t anyone made an offer? What if the house hasn’t sold by the time my husband’s employer finds a replacement for him? What then?

Ah, future worries. And these are big life worries. It is appropriate to have anxiety and fear. But these feelings are not the only ones present. Gratefulness for this wonderful house in which we have raised two glorious children who are now extraordinary adults lives in my heart as well. Trust in the process, in the lessons of life. Patience for the changes that take time. These attitudes make room in my heart for joy and bliss, so fear and anxiety flow downstream.

Life is in constant flow. When water gets blocked by an obstruction, it pools, grows still, and becomes stagnant. To remove the obstruction, don’t resist whatever emotion or thought arises. Accept it, explore it, and let it go.

Accepting loosens the obstruction’s grip. Perhaps your own mind and heart are obstructions. Let go. Relax. Let the current flow.

May you find deep beauty and contentment in your being and soul today, even if only for a moment.

Namaste.

Neither afraid of the world, nor making the world afraid,
They are free from greed, anger, and fear.

When the waves of self-will subside
Into the peace that is the Self,
The mind becomes still, the heart pure,
And illumination comes to us in this very life.

"The Lamp of Wisdom" from Yoga Vasishtha

There is a wonderful book I like to read in small chunks because it is so potent. It is “Wake Up Grateful–The Transformative Practice of Taking Nothing for Granted,” by Kristi Nelson. She is the executive director of A Network for Grateful Living, which you can find at www.gratefulness.org. She writes:

“All the while, the great fullness of life with all its unanswerable questions, unexpected opportunities, and startling surprises carries on, inviting us to embrace not knowing and slide into the river of greater release and trust.”

I love that — “slide into the river of greater release and trust.”

One of my favorite prayers is, “Grant me, oh God, the blazing fire of faith to be the polestar of my life.” I thirstily gulp the KoolAid of faith, faith in a Higher Power, in the Divine Mystery of life and existence, of Being. I am alive. We are alive together, embracing this mystery. We don’t need to have all of the answers. We can let go of needing to know what comes next.

What would it be like to live life with no expectations but to humbly accept what comes our way with surprise?

And what if what comes our way is tragedy and sadness? Can we keep our hearts open even to that?

That is why I am here, why I built this blog so that we can do that together. Life certainly has its hardships and its joys. Can we not experience them in community, together, not alone?

I hold you in my heart with blessings and joy.

Gratefulness washes over me at odd times. I was standing at the kitchen sink looking out the window at my neighbor’s car, and suddenly gratefulness flooded me — that I was standing, that I could see this silver Ford sedan, that the sun was shining, that the leaves hanging over the carport were shaking in the breeze, that I could breathe, that I was alive!

I love these sudden intense feelings of gratitude that take me by surprise for the simplest of things.

And then there is you, complex and wonderful. I am grateful for you.

Much love,

Polly

The Possibility of Possibility

Cultivating presence helps me feel grounded. Perspective helps me feel more grace, and more grateful. Regaining a sense of possibility flows readily from these states and actually happen in short measure. But it is such a pleasure to pause for presence and perspective that I usually try to take my time.

The practice of grateful living is an end in itself.

Wake Up Grateful–The Transformative Practice of Taking Nothing for Granted, by Kristi Nelson

You are not alone. In your shame and isolation, you may feel alone but you are not. God is with you and so am I. Write to me, contact me. I have been in deep shame and isolation. I know what it is like. It takes courage to reach out. Yes, I understand. I hope you find the courage to embrace your heart.

 Khatum
  
 Most Merciful and Compassionate God,
 Give us Thy great Goodness;
 Teach us Thy loving Forgiveness;
 Raise us above the distinctions and
 Differences which divide us;
  
 Send us the Peace of Thy Divine Spirit,
 And unite us all in Thy Perfect Being. 

--Hazrat Inayat Khan

Feelings of shame often block self-love and intimacy with others. By talking about shame amongst spiritual friends, we unblock the flow of self-love a little more each time, encouraging self-love and Spirit to evolve freely within us.

Once a week for six weeks, from October 3-November 7, I invite you to explore with me the hurt of shame in a safe place of self-discovery where the group holds you in tolerance and compassion.

In this sacred circle, you can explore the trials of being human, suffering, and judgment, without suffering and judgment, where each person finds compassion for themselves and others through tolerance and acceptance.

This space, this Lotus Group, gives you an opportunity to share your feelings and stories of shame to illuminate greater clarity in your heart about your true nature, divine essence, and being as a sacred soul. Sharing in a sacred space, a sacred circle of intention, allows us to feel accepted among spiritual friends. Here is where we belong—in each other’s hearts, where we can be held and seen with dignity and love.

If you feel this is something you crave, a place where you are held, honored, and cherished by others and by yourself, where your self-love can blossom and grow like a lotus anchored and nourished by the muddy depths of your soul, I invite you to join me. Here we learn to accept, love, and cherish one another and ourselves just exactly how we are—muddy depths and glorious lotus blooms simultaneously.

This process is not therapy. It is spiritual identity and growth. It is a healing circle of spirituality, not psychology.

I am a life-long seeker who needs help and understanding as much as you. I call on my spirit guides to do just that—guide me, protect me, and call me to this sacred space of bearing witness.

I create this circle and welcome you within it.

Please come.

Enroll here: openhandsholyheart@gmail.com Sundays @ 10:00 a.m. -11:15 a.m. E.T., October 3-November 7, 2021

You are not the worst thing you’ve ever done.

Shame may make you feel like you are the worst thing you’ve ever done. But you aren’t. We are so much bigger, deeper, richer, vaster, and mysterious than the worst thing we have ever done.

Forgiveness is the key.  Forgiving ourselves for the worst thing we have ever done takes courage and humility. And time. It takes making amends to ourselves whom we have hurt most profoundly and making amends to others, to those we have hurt. It takes tears and patience.

Life takes courage, but thank God we have God to love us, and She does. “Be brave, my daughter.”

Yes, it hurts but be brave. You are not alone.

May you find compassion for yourself. May you find the courage to love life and forgive yourself.

You are Life itself. May you know that and love yourself and Life and God. Live the Mystery. Be the Mystery. Because you are.

The Way of Love

They are dear to me who run not after the pleasant
Or away from the painful, grieve not
Over the past, lust not today,
But let things come and go as they happen.

-- The Bhagavad Gita

The journey to intimacy with others is fraught with detours and danger zones and so worth navigating through them. If we can get through painful conversations without turning away, we may get to the other side feeling worthy, heard, cherished, and loved.

In our recent Lotus Group: Talking About Shame, one member used trigger words that were very hurtful to other members. We talked about the feelings of shame and anger for us personally around those words. It was uncomfortable. One member wanted to leave and never come back, but that member stayed. We talked about our shame in the moment, that very real, very present current feeling amongst us.

In the end, no one turned away. People felt heard and seen and came back the following week. For these conversations are all about deep connections to one another, connection to life in the moment, and for me, a deep faith and trust in God. I believe that’s what God wants for us, to be present, to show up as who we are in difficult times for one another, to help each other through the morass of our pain, some of it shared. This is how we change the world.

I don’t have all the answers and only know what is right for me. How I feel is most likely how others are feeling as well. I base group safety on guidance from Spirit and sharing guidelines, like using “I” statements as much as possible and gentle reminders when the vague, general “you” is used, by requesting that participants refrain from frequent swearing, by using respectful and caring language even when describing a painful experience (it can be done), by not using graphic details that may be triggering and painful to others. This, too, is possible.

The group felt shame, but we worked through it. We were there for one another, and we were there the following week, too.

And we can be there for you. Join us.

 You Are That
  
 As by knowing one lump of clay, dear one,
 We come to know all things made out of clay—
 That they differ only in name and form,
 While the stuff of which all are made is clay;
  
 As by knowing one gold nugget, dear one,
 We come to know all things made out of gold—
 That they differ only in name and form,
 While the stuff of which all are made is gold.
  
 As by knowing one tool of iron, dear one,
 We come to know all things made of iron—
 So through spiritual wisdom, dear one,
 We come to know that all of life is one.
  
 As bees suck nectar from many a flower
 And make their honey one, so that no drop
 Can say, “I am from this flower or that,”
 All creatures, though one, know not they are that One.
 There is nothing that does not come from her.
 of everything she is the inmost Self.
 She is the truth; she is the Self supreme.
 You are that, dear one; you are that.
  
 As the rivers flowing east and west
 Merge in the sea and become one with it,
 Forgetting they were ever separate streams,
 So do all creatures lose their separateness
 When they merge at last into pure Being.
 There is nothing that does not come from him. 
 Of everything he is the inmost Self
 He is the truth; He is the Self supreme.
 You are that, dear one; you are that! 
  
 --The Chandogya Upanishad
  
  
   

Today is Father’s Day. I’m going to walk my two dogs before it rains. I hope it’s a deluge. The parched earth so severely needs one.

I hope all of you feel drenched in the goodness of God’s love and that you embrace the beauty of your Self. No matter how much pain you are in, love yourself, accept all that is you—your pain, your shame, your mistakes, your boldness, your perseverance, your resilience, your big beautiful Self.

May you be filled with loving-kindness forever and always.

"I have attempted to share a way of seeing that allows you to recognize who you are and see the gift you are here to give. That is the art of possibility. It reveals the story you came to live. It is the possibility that wants to be born through you. It is living and being lived at the same time."

-- Higher Self-Expression--How to Become an Artist of Possibility, page 196 by Jeff Carreira

What if we lived like oak trees? God plants the seed of Self, and we watch ourselves bloom and grow. More often, we humans worry so much about who we are, we can’t enjoy ourselves and our lives. Who am I? What should I be doing? Instead of incessantly asking these questions, what if you let yourself be without expectation. What if you are already perfectly you? The answer, of course, is that you can’t be anything but perfectly you because that’s who you are!

I have often thought I should be other than who I am, thinking “shoulds” will make me better. I should be famous for my_____. Fill in the blank: for my music, my writing, my painting, my social work, my activism, whatever your “should” happens to be. You should be something other or more than you are. But that is your vision, not God’s. The oak tree never says, “I am not big enough, strong enough, tall enough.” No, the oak tree is what it is, and we are what we are.

Why not accept ourselves as we are today in this very moment. Perhaps that is weak, vulnerable, frightened, embarrassed, shameful. If that is how we feel, that is who we are in that moment. “I am frightened. I am angry.”

Once we do that—accept who we are, we loosen, we let go of our “shoulds” because there is no resistance to what is. We accept the moment, and it changes. The branches of our oak tree sway in the wind; our oak tree moves in its solid beingness.

I wish for you to be grateful for who you are. Grateful for yourself. Grateful for all the shame, fear, joy, and bliss you embody because they are you. You don’t have to try to be anything. Accept what you are and who you are now. Acceptance opens the way for what is to be. Wait and watch the unfolding.

Blessed be.

Only God I Saw

....Like a candle I was melting in his fire:
Amidst the flames outflashing -- only God I saw.

Myself with mine eyes I saw most clearly.
But when I looked with God's eyes -- only God I saw....

                                                           --Baba Kuhi of Shiraz