Month: September 2021

Illustration by https://www.elemckayartist.com/

As a child, I felt connected to God through my stuffed animals. They embodied Spirit, and in my relationship with them, I knew my soul. Blue dog. Foxy. Brandy, the basset hound. I spoke to them and loved them, and they loved me back.

But as a teen, I lost that conscious contact with Spirit and stopped believing in it. I lost faith.

As a miserable twenty-something, I longed to believe I was good but felt worthless. I was still reeling from my reckless behavior as a teen and was under the influence of an influential cult leader in the guise of a psychologist who told me I was nasty, among other things.

Fortunately, I had begun making conscious contact with God again. My consciousness was in the process of waking up. By listening to God’s voice within my heart, I shook off the yoke of this man’s vile darkness.

Our consciousness needs awakening. Various scriptures say that you will find the jewel of God’s love waiting within your heart by listening carefully. I discovered several spirit guides within my heart, each offering gifts: loyalty, perseverance, dependability, wisdom, devotion, sacrifice, pleasure, balance, stillness, love, passion, protection, patience, courage, tolerance.

I consciously connect with my guides as I go through my day. Whenever I become anxious or confused, I call on them. They never let me down. It’s as if my stuffed animals had been totems for these spirit guides all along.

Your spirit guides are waiting to be discovered if you haven’t done so already. All you must do is sit in silence and humbly ask them to appear. Respectfully request their names. Have patience. They will reveal themselves to you. They love you big time. Mine do. Mine were pacing eagerly, just waiting for me to wake up and say hello.

I never take my Guides for granted. I cultivate our relationship with attention, devotion, and time. Time to sit and be together in silence. Time to feel each other’s presence and to be One in that Spirit.

How can we be there for one another? How can we give space and time for one another?

By showing up.

Just show up.

You don’t have to do anything, orchestrate or plan anything. Trust in the experience and let whatever happens happen. Let the feelings arise, let the words come, or listen to the silence between you. Sometimes the silence speaks mountains of love.

Embrace all of it with patience and tolerance for what is. Accept your powerlessness over the one you love, the feelings you have, she has. Accept it all and just let it go, let it be.

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be. (Thank you, Paul.)

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

--Jalal al-Din Rumi

Translated by Coleman Barks

We are infinitely loved. How can we tap into that Love if we don’t believe in it? If we don’t have faith?

I felt like that once, completely abandoned by God, waiting for Her to change my life. That’s what I thought God’s presence would do—change my situation so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. But that’s not how God operates. God wants us to deal with it, to deal with Life—our lives. She provides the tools to do so. Prayer. Meditation. Therapy. Community. Journaling. Friendship. Literature. Teachers. Our brains, our minds, and our hearts. God loves us. She pours Her infinite Love over and into us. Her Love is there always.

But what if we are blind to Her Love or can’t feel it? How do we begin to open our hearts to this Love?

By listening.

Listening to our own pain and shadows instead of shutting them down and ignoring them.

Everything we live through is important. Everything we live through is a lesson, an opportunity, honing and shaping us into the highest beings we can be if only we trust and have faith in the process.

Does it hurt? You bet. Is it scary? Absolutely. But She is there, guiding us always.

Listen to your heart. Give voice to your fears. I will listen. I will pray for you and with you. This is what we were meant to do—to be here for one another. Healing and transformation occur when we let go, even just a little bit. When we share with others, the light of truth shines forth healing rays; accepting what is frees us. We let go of our attachment to pain each time we share it with another. The grip loosens, space for release has a chance to rest in our hearts. Transformation begins. It is a slow process, but it works.

I genuinely believe in the power of God’s transformative Love available to us all. We can channel that Love, be an open vessel for it so that it pours out and flows from one to another.

I am here.

I will wait for you.

"You have put yourself under the guidance and control
     of an all-powerful being.
Let Her do what She pleases with you.
    God is always in you and you are always in Her.
She and you are One. This is the truth."

-- from "Unshakable Faith" Swami Ramdas

After experiencing pain and suffering for many years, I now have joy and bliss. That is not to say I never feel sorrow or sadness anymore, or even anxiety and worry. I do. I feel it all, and that is the difference between now and my life in the past. (Just now, as I was writing, a bird flew right towards my open window and veered off at the last second. I got to see its underbelly and chest and wide-stretched fluttering wings up close. Bliss and joy!)

I let all emotions pass through me. I don’t resist whatever comes up, and therefore it doesn’t become stuck inside me. I say yes to frustration. I accept it for what it is and move on.

How does one move on from frustration? Accepting a situation for what it is and that I may be powerless to change anything about it, except maybe my attitude.

My husband and I are moving to North Carolina. That is our intent, anyway. We have put our house and home of 35 years on the market. Such a beautiful home! Why hasn’t anyone made an offer? What if the house hasn’t sold by the time my husband’s employer finds a replacement for him? What then?

Ah, future worries. And these are big life worries. It is appropriate to have anxiety and fear. But these feelings are not the only ones present. Gratefulness for this wonderful house in which we have raised two glorious children who are now extraordinary adults lives in my heart as well. Trust in the process, in the lessons of life. Patience for the changes that take time. These attitudes make room in my heart for joy and bliss, so fear and anxiety flow downstream.

Life is in constant flow. When water gets blocked by an obstruction, it pools, grows still, and becomes stagnant. To remove the obstruction, don’t resist whatever emotion or thought arises. Accept it, explore it, and let it go.

Accepting loosens the obstruction’s grip. Perhaps your own mind and heart are obstructions. Let go. Relax. Let the current flow.

May you find deep beauty and contentment in your being and soul today, even if only for a moment.

Namaste.

Neither afraid of the world, nor making the world afraid,
They are free from greed, anger, and fear.

When the waves of self-will subside
Into the peace that is the Self,
The mind becomes still, the heart pure,
And illumination comes to us in this very life.

"The Lamp of Wisdom" from Yoga Vasishtha