The house feels empty without my daughter and her boyfriend here. They left yesterday after visiting for an entire week over the Thanksgiving holiday. I take it as a testament of our love and comfort level and tolerance for one another that we were able to enjoy each other’s company so thoroughly without once having had a major blow-up or experiencing irritability. Sure, there was the occasional tetchiness when playing a word game and no one followed the “no talking” rule, or partners misread one another and got clues wrong, but other than that, I didn’t hear a word of complaint and neither did I utter any. Nor did my husband. And this boyfriend. What a gift. For him to spend an entire week with us, to agree to that in that first place, and for me and my husband to luxuriate in their presence. Wow.
So here it is the day after they have left. I’m sitting on the front porch in the sunshine with a mountain breeze filling my freshly Covid-vacated lungs. I hacked and coughed while my daughter and her mate were here. I’d tested negative before they arrived, and I’m sure it was a nuisance hearing me coughing. But I didn’t hear one grumble about it, nor about boredom, displeasure or discomfort.
We had football and soccer games on T.V. all week and that was fine by me. While the three of them took a mountain hike, because of a bum foot I stayed home and talked for over an hour with a friend from Chicago. I slept in my own bed with my husband for the first time in two weeks (we had been sleeping separately while I tested positive) and I slept well, having rediscovered earplugs and an eye mask. Everyone slept well. And ate well. My cooking, which all highly praised, my daughter and even her beau asking me for my recipes, was my expression of love.
We had football and soccer games on T.V. all week and that was fine by me.
So, the adage about fish and visitors smelling after three days was irrelevant all because of the replacement slogan “Live and let live.” Even when I walked in on my husband clipping his eyebrows in the bathroom mirror because the bathroom I use for my own nighttime toilette was occupied, I didn’t say a word. He knows I prefer he leave them alone, but I respect his business, which is none of mine. The same with my daughter and her beloved. They have a way of relating to one another that I find mildly disconcerting, but I said nothing. None of my business. And they kept their distaste for any of my habits to themselves if they had any. I’m sure they did. Who wouldn’t?
The absence of the richness of my daughter’s company leaves me feeling bereft as I always am after one of our children visits. But I have my life to live and my husband to love, and I cherish the period of withdrawal. I hate the ache, but I’m glad I have one.
"Live and let live expresses the idea that all should be able to live their lives in the manner they want to, regardless of what other[s] may think of them."-- Ali hadi Ghawl, University of Al-Qadisiyah