For years I have woken up in the middle of the night feeling anxious. At least, that’s how I interpreted it; only I wasn’t sure. Was this tightening in my gut, this mild tingling throughout my body anxiety, the feeling you might get locking yourself into a dreaded rollercoaster ride; was it hormones fluctuating?
At the moment, I was safe in my warm bed with a roof over me; I was healthy, as were my husband and my children. Why feel anxious? And yet, the belief persisted that this was anxiety, this overall humming throughout my body like a low electrical current.
But what if that feeling was something else? What if that feeling was an invitation from the Goddess to surrender to Her completely? What if that humming charge I felt was the divine opening the door inviting me to step through? I had this inkling with the help of the spiritual teacher, Jeff Carreira, through his Mystery School https://mysteryschool-memberscircle.com/ He suggests that we question our assumptions about reality and thought. So the next time I awoke in the night, I chose to entertain the possibility that the energy I felt was not anxiety but an invitation from the Goddess inviting me to say yes. So I said, yes, I surrender. I surrender.
An amazing thing happened.
I fell back asleep in the most beautiful space I could imagine. Everything, the landscape, the people, the air, the buildings, was alive with color, abundance, energy, and love. Two women, angels or spirit guides, told me my son was a prophet who understood that life was so much more than we could see and that we had to save him. The Goddess scooped me up in Her Hand and whisked me away to safety.
I woke up.
May my eyes continue to open and see Her Vision. May I come to realize more and more I am that Vision.
Any may you find that Vision as well.
So mote it be.
“Perennial Joy”
The Self cannot be known through the study
Of the scriptures, nor through the intellect,
Nor through hearing discourses about it.
It can be attained only by those
Whom the Self chooses. Verily unto them
Does the Self reveal itself.
–The Katha Upanishad