There is No “I”

What if, during prayer and meditation, you could collapse the sense of “I” with not knowing who “I” is?

Why not just let go of the “I” and instead be content with, “No idea.”

Because otherwise, we could stay stuck in thoughts like these ones I had a few years ago:

“I doubt my self-worth; I doubt my goodness. I fear something is rotten in me, something mean and ugly, and it frightens me because I fear I am powerless over it—that I have no control over it. It’s how I feel when I become drained; I have nothing left, no patience, no control, and I want to lash out at something, anything—the stupid earbuds that get tangled up in my scarf, or my dog who won’t stop barking, or the person budging in, trying to squeeze ahead of me on the exit ramp when I have waited so patiently in line. These angry spots in my heart are dark splotches that frighten me; my humanness and imperfections disturb me. I don’t want to be mean, horrible, and ugly, and yet, that’s what I fear most because I’ve seen so much of it in other people. I don’t want to be that way myself, but sometimes I worry that there is a part of me that’s still in there hiding somewhere—a mean, ugly part and so I am afraid to admit my faults—my character defects, but they are there, a part of me, and I am powerless over them.”

Yikes!

Oh, dear heart, worry not. You are fine, and you are glorious, and you are lovely, particularly because there is no “I,” only ME, GOD.

The River of God

All is change in the world of the senses,

But changeless is the supreme Lord of Love.

Meditate on her, be absorbed in her,

Wake up from this dream of separateness.

Know God and all fetters will fall away.

No longer identifying yourself

With the body, go beyond birth and death.

Know her to be enshrined within your heart

Always. Truly there is nothing more

To know in life. Meditate and realize

The world is filled with the presence of God….

–The Shvetashvatara Upanishad