Asking for help has always been difficult for me. When I was little and asked for help, my mother often said in a strident tone “Stop bothering me, Polly!” Because of that common response, rather than ask for help I would wait for help to come. Often help never arrived and I learned to fend for myself.
Even today I feel anxious about asking for help. Rather than ask for help directly I hint that I need help hoping that someone (like my husband) will come to my rescue saying ‘I’ll do that,’ or, ‘Would you like me to do that for you?’ Or if I do ask for help and someone says okay, but then doesn’t act immediately I grow anxious and do the said thing on my own, upsetting the person whose help I requested.
Urgency, panic even, is my modus operandi. It’s taken me a while to learn the hard lesson that there is virtue in waiting and being patient. Is that hard for you, too? For me it is a huge challenge!
A dear friend of mine recently did a rune reading for me. I chose a three-rune reading: Overview, Challenge, Action. My question had to do with my constant urge to act and the trouble it causes. The rune I drew for the Overview was Sowelu, meaning wholeness. “Seeking after wholeness is the Spiritual Warrior’s quest….Practice the art of doing without doing. Aim yourself truly and then maintain your aim without manipulative effort.”
Ah.
Then I drew Eihwaz, which signifies my challenge. “If there appears to be an obstacle in your path, consider that even a delay may prove beneficial. Do not be overly eager to press forward.”
Such difficult words for one who is addicted to action!
Oh, such difficult words for one who is addicted to action!
“Receiving Eihwaz, you are put on notice that through inconvenience and discomfort, growth is promoted. This will be a trying time… wait on the Will of Heaven.”
Oh, God.
And finally, the third rune I drew represents Action. What action do I undertake to absorb these lessons? The rune I drew was Isa, or standstill. Don’t you love it! I must do nothing! My action phase is inaction! And that’s why this is my Challenge!
“Be patient, for this is the period of gestation that proceeds a rebirth….A chill wind is reaching you over the ice floes of old outmoded habits.” Those old habits of impulsively acting out of panic and anxiety. “At such a time, you cannot hope to rely on help or friendly support. And yet there is no reason for anxiety. Submit and be still…”
!
And so, dear ones, this is what I am learning to do—to be still, to do nothing. To simply be, to let go and let God, a slogan I have always loved, yet perhaps have forgotten of late. This is an opportunity to let those words sink into my bones at the cellular level.
Does any of this resonate with you too?
"Just as winter is a time for going within, drawing Isa can announce a time of restoration and renewal at the deepest level. In your solitude, exercise caution and do not stubbornly persist in attempting to work your will. Remain mindful that the seed of the new is present in the shell of the old, the seed of unrealized potential, the seed of the good. " The Book of Runes by Ralph Blum