Month: January 2021

Be content with who you are. There is no need to grab the identity and spirit of others. I can be enough for myself, and with God’s love, I can show my love by being of service.

Whenever I feel distressed and lost, all the angels and saints pray for me to get back on track, to find my way to The Center. In an angel reading, they once said to me, “Return to your core and speak candidly with love and compassion for yourself and those you love. Be fearless in the essence of love. There are peace and kindness, which is your natural state of being.”

What comforting words. How often I forget them! When I choose anxiety, worry, concern, and resentment, I believe those messages about myself and consider them of others.

Be fearless in the essence of love. Do not take on the responsibilities of others lest you become fractured and tense. Let go. Surrender control. Let God take over. Be content with who you are. Deep in your soul, you will find peace and kindness.

While meditating today, I noticed my thoughts going this way and that. I focused on my breath, so grateful for it, the richness of the in-breath, the relief of the out-breath, over and over. My thoughts scattered again. I became aware of being present again. I became conscious of myself being aware. I had a question for God. I asked, “God, are You aware of Yourself? God said, “Of course!” I asked, “What is that like? Is it possible to show me? Can I stand it?” God said, “Sure, I’ll show you.” Immediately, my mind went still, complete stillness. Oh! It was so precious, so delicious and wonderful. And then my timer went off much, much sooner than I expected.

Holding to the Constant

Break into the peace within,

Hold attention in stillness,

And in the world outside

You will ably master the ten thousand things.

All things rise and flourish

Then go back to their roots.

Seeing this return brings true rest,

Where you discover who you really are.

Knowing who you are, you will find the constant.

Those who lack harmony with the constant court danger,

But those who have it gain new vision.

They act with compassion;

      within themselves, they can find room for everything.

Having room, they rule themselves and lead others wisely.

Being wise, they live in accordance

      with the nature of things.

Emptied of self and one with nature,

They become filled with the Tao.

The Tao endures forever.

For those who have attained harmony with the Tao

      Will never lose it

Even if their bodies die.

–Lao Tzu

P.S. I love this line: “Knowing who you are, you will find the constant.” We are beloved children of God. You are, I am, we all are. What peace in savoring that blessed reality.

If you’re not familiar with 12-Step programs, there’s something they feature called “The Acceptance Prayer,” which, upon first reading can be very hard to swallow. “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today…” See what I mean? It goes on to say that if you want serenity, you must change your attitude.

My attitude is often the root of my suffering. Specifically, my attitude towards myself. For example, I’ve often judged myself harshly. I say, ‘I’m not doing enough to help the world. Look at all those enlightened activists and teachers doing their part.’ And then my thoughts get even darker, and I think, “I am not enough.”

Simply put, my attitude towards myself creates my suffering. When I remember the Acceptance Prayer, I have a better chance of accepting all my faults and gifts with humility. 

The A.A. Big Book contains many spiritual gems of love and wisdom that resonate even if you’re not an alcoholic or addict. One such gem is the passage, “living in the answer.… When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away.”

The problem, for me, is often some form of thinking that I am not enough. ‘Who am I to say this, to believe that, to want this, etc.?’ When I turn instead to living in the answer, which means being aware of God’s abiding love for me, my angst disappears.

“[W]e are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or you, I am complaining about God’s handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.” –(A.A. Big Book p. 417)  

Touché.

And when I struggle because life doesn’t go my way, the way I expected, the way I counted on, I can return to acceptance rather than harbor resistance or resentment. Neither of those attitudes changes reality and only makes me suffer more. Besides, the unexpected happens all of the time. God doesn’t say, ‘Here’s exactly what’s going to happen in your life, and this is how you’ll deal with it.’ What’s the point in that? I’d have as much meaning as a ticking clock—and I don’t want to just mark time with my life. I want to live life fully with all the unexpected turns, disappointments, and joys that it holds.

The lively way to live is exactly the way the writer of that acceptance chapter in the Big Book suggests—by accepting the feelings and emotions we have at the moment and expressing them appropriately.

“When we deal in feelings, we tend to come to know ourselves and each other much better.”

That is excellent guidance whether I’m talking with my spouse, my children, my mother, my sister, my boss, my colleagues, anyone. I can check in with my feelings, whether I’m troubled or joyous, accept where I’m at, and take care of myself accordingly. I can decide whether to share what I’m feeling, or protect myself by not sharing if that feels appropriate. Acceptance is such a lively, gratifying way to live.

The Acceptance Prayer

“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation, some fact of my life, unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world, as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.” –The A.A. “Big Book” p. 417

When I pray, I focus my awareness on my consciousness of God’s presence. This morning, I prayed on the Mary and Martha story where Mary is at Jesus’s feet, enthralled, while Martha is in the kitchen, fretting because she got stuck with all the grunt work. Jesus says, ‘Don’t worry about all that, Martha. Mary is doing the more important thing; she’s got it right. She is loving me.’ Unlike Martha, Mary spends her time being in love, like, steeping in it, in the deepest part of the ocean where the gem of God’s love resides.

And so this morning I focused on that love and realized I felt guilty about wanting to feel loved, for doesn’t Saint Francis urge us to love rather than to be loved?

“O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.”

Spirit interceded, whispering, ‘Let us love you, Polly. Let us love you. That is our gift to you.’ I was conscious of how precious that love felt, how exquisite that endowment.

But I had trouble relaxing into that love, into the luxury of it. I realized that it is far more difficult for me to receive than to give because, in giving, I feel a modicum of control. When I am the giver, I have a bit more power. In receiving, I must surrender, let go entirely, and be vulnerable.

I heard the whispers. ‘Enjoy our gift to you.’ So I let go, and the love of God filled my heart.

Later that morning as I went about my day reading work emails and articles, I became aware of such love I felt for all of us, for the entire human family, like it was brimming over within my heart. And I thought, by letting love in, by receiving love in prayer, allowing it to sink deep within my heart, I respond with loving-kindness for all.

And this is why I pray, because it fills my heart and pours loving kindness into the world. This is the power of prayer — to create consciousness that is healing rather than hurtful — something we all need.

We are all like stained-glass windows glowing in the night, each with our own design. Don’t let your light go out, or we won’t see it.

Who you are and what you have to say is precious. We all have our stories. Tell yours.  

We share common threads but weave them differently. Some stories we relate to more than others. Some we like, some we don’t. My five-star review of one person’s book is a one-star review for someone else and vice versa.

So what?

It doesn’t matter. There are plenty of us to go around, plenty of people to relate to in one way or another. Never give up hope that your voice is important. We need to hear it. If you are writing your story or memoir, don’t give up.

I won’t either.

“…Drink the wine that moves you

As a camel moves when it’s been untied,

And is just ambling about.”

“The Many Wines”

from The Essential Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks